You can look the whole world over and never find anyone more deserving of love than yourself. 
Buddha
You give but little when you give of your possessions. 
It is when you give of yourself that you truly give. Kahlil Gibran
The one who gives is the one who receives the most. From the Bible, Acts 20:35 (King James Version)
 
Christmas and Holiday season … a time for giving. We spend lots of time trying to get the ‘best’ present for each person on our list. But…
 
Who’s missing from your gift list?
 
YOU!
 
If there is only one lesson you learn this year, it’s this: You are the most important person in your entire universe. Your entire life is lived through your eyes, your interactions with the world and those around you, your thoughts and how you interpret events, relationships, actions and words.
 
You might just be another person in the grand scheme of things, but when it comes to your understanding of reality, only you matter!
 
Your reality depends on how much you love and take care of you.
 
Your relationship with yourself is the defining factor in shaping the quality of life you live.
 
When you give to yourself, you have more to offer others. Studies show that people are healthier when they are inclined toward kindness, patience, and other kinds of positive behavior.

Rest. You can do anything but not everything. Burning out just to prove yourself is no way to live, so allow yourself those moments of meditation or even just a lazy Sunday -- your work, your life, and your health will be much richer.
 
Good health. This goes for your body and your mind. They're both inextricably linked. Find a fitness routine that you love, eat healthy and always keep in tune with your emotions.
 
Love. Allow yourself to love and be loved. We're built for affection -- even if it's hard, even if it means getting hurt. Vulnerability is challenging, but it’s worth it.
 
Select Your friends. Life's too short to spend it with people who bring you negative energy. Do fill your life with relationships that lift your spirits and inspire you to be the best version of yourself.
 
Uncertainty. The only guarantee in life is, there are no guarantees. The sooner you give yourself permission to go outside your comfort zone, you will appreciate you and experience the magic that can sometimes happen.
 
A meaningful career. You spend the majority of your waking hours at your job. That's a lot of misery if your creative, emotional and intellectual needs aren't being met. You're too precious to be applying yourself towards something that isn't fulfilling you..
 
A positive attitude. There's power in looking on the bright side, no matter what your circumstances. Positive people are healthier people.
 
Kindness. Express compassion, especially toward yourself. Kindness is the gift that keeps on giving because it makes the world a better place.
 
Take a Risk. Give yourself the gift of following your dreams, your heart and your mind. Go after your desires wholeheartedly. You deserve it!
 
Faith. Whether it's in God, spirituality or just yourself. Allow yourself to recognize that bad moments can happen, and things have a way of working out.
 
A solo dance session. It's amazing what a little rhythm and movement will do for your mood.
 
Gratitude. Be thankful for everything: The little moments, the big events, and even the opportunities that didn't work out. It's good for your health, and it gives you the perspective you need when life is giving you a swift kick in the pants.
 
Forgiveness. You are not defined by your past, a mistake, a choice you've made, a diagnosis or anything else for that matter. It's one thing to hold yourself accountable; it's another to berate yourself until you no longer like who you see in the mirror. Let go of the guilt you're carrying. It’s weighing you down and affecting your health.
 
Sleep.  The gift of sleep never goes out of style. Getting the right amount of sleep is energizing for your body and soul. 
 
Silence. We're constantly surrounded by chatter, but it's in quiet where we can find calm, concentration and creativity. Give yourself that moment. Meditate daily, even if it’s only five minutes.
 
A willingness to learn. Life is a journey, and you're going to hit a few speed bumps along the way. If you open yourself up to those lessons, you'll gain wisdom, which is one of the best presents you can give to yourself.
 
Joy. We know that joy isn’t something we pursue, but rather something that comes from within. People and events can make us happy, but joy is an emotional feeling from within that uplifts the human spirit.
 
Live! Enjoy the magic and wonderment of just being ALIVE!
 

“You, yourself, as much as anybody in the entire universe deserves your love and affection.” ~Buddha
 
Common sense suggests, if there is one aspect of the Thanksgiving season that lifts our spirits, it is expressing gratitude.

The word gratitude is derived from the Latin word gratia, which means grace, graciousness, or gratefulness. Gratitude encompasses all of these meanings. Gratitude is a thankful appreciation for what an individual receives, whether tangible or intangible.

With gratitude, we acknowledge the goodness in our lives and in the process, it connects us to something larger than ourselves — whether to other people, nature, or a higher power.
Gratitude helps us feel the positive emotions of happiness, and good experiences, which reduces stress and improves health.

We feel and express gratitude in many ways. We can apply it to the past (retrieving positive memories and being thankful for elements of childhood or past blessings), the present (not taking good fortune for granted), and the future (maintaining a hopeful and optimistic attitude). Regardless of the current level of someone's gratitude, it's a quality that we can successfully cultivate further.

Gratitude is for people to appreciate what they have rather than focusing on what they lack.
We’ve dedicated most of this year learning about ourselves: our attitudes; our thoughts; the inner voice; the healer within (placebo and nocebo); the mask, etc. It’s now time to be thankful.
 
During the holidays, the one person we often forget to share gratitude with and give thanks for is ourselves. Giving thanks to ourselves and nurturing who we are gives us an opportunity to be grateful while reflecting on the personal growth that we’ve made.
 
Life can be hard and sometimes it’s difficult to feel grateful. It’s easy to focus on the negative. Through the negativity, we can sometimes see small points of light – maybe encouragement through friends or family. However, we often forget to find these ‘points of light’ within ourselves.

“Gratitude is the healthiest of all human emotions. The more you express gratitude for what you have, the more likely you will have even more to express gratitude for.” —Zig Ziglar

“Gratitude unlocks the fullness of life. It turns what we have into enough, and more. It turns denial into acceptance, chaos to order, confusion to clarity. It can turn a meal into a feast, a house into a home, a stranger into a friend.” Melody Beattie

​As we consider the good in our lives—our health, our families, the freedoms we enjoy, the job that provides for us, and the people we love—We should take time to appreciate something that often goes unrecognized…YOU! The good and the bad!
Too often we focus on the stuff we’re not capable of doing, which leads us through the cycle of self- doubt that can feed on itself.
 
Instead, we should spend each day being thankful for the things we can do and love to do. Live our lives with joy, knowing that while we can do better, we can still enjoy the things we value. So, the next time that you are doing something you enjoy doing, stop and think about it and be thankful.
 
Our relationships can depend upon how we value ourselves. If we don’t love ourselves, how can we love someone else. If we don’t respect ourselves, how can we make respectable choices. If we don’t value our time, we waste it foolishly.

​While I was doing research about gratitude, I found this:
“I Am Grateful For The Mistakes I Have Made.” Anonymous
 
Really?
If we never make mistakes, we would miss out on some of life’s most valuable lessons.
 
Failure is a great teacher, but only if we learn the lessons that failure teaches.
 
We may have gone through some tough times over the years, but they have changed many of us for the better.
 
Another surprising quote:
“Pain is a very precious gift. Do not waste it.” Martha Singleterry
 
If you are alive, you will experience pain.
The pain of loss. The pain of regret. The pain of guilt. The pain of self-flagellation and self-imposed isolation. The pain of apathy and self-loathing and failure. The pain of not being enough, not doing enough, not giving enough. And, the pain from illness.
 
We can choose to view the pain of these situations as a blessing or a curse.
 
No one likes to feel pain. No one likes to feel sadness. Yet pain and sadness are an inevitable part of our lives. It would be great if we could banish them, but we can’t.
 
“If you stay with the pain and sadness, instead of trying to avoid it, you will learn something important. Sadness softens you. It opens your heart. It helps you appreciate joy when it comes. And pain tells you what is out of balance. It tells you what is not working in your life so that you can make an adjustment, a shift, and come back into balance.” Paul Ferrini, author of  Answering the Call of the Soul.
 
Gratitude for pain doesn’t mean you’re grateful FOR THE PAIN.  It means hopefully you can find some gratitude for the experience that caused the pain, and, how you can change your life to better deal with it.
 
Why does it take a trauma (a death, accident, illness, divorce, etc.) to appreciate and be grateful for everyday experiences – smelling the roses, watching the birds, breathing clean air and the small every day miracles of life.
 
People with a serious illness struggle with their treatments searching for the positive in their circumstances. The attitude and approach they take each day can make the worst of times better. Illness can teach us what we already know, but we sometimes need a reminder that gratitude has powerful effects and there is always a silver-lining, if we choose to look for it.
 
How many times have we heard about cancer patients who say their diagnosis was a wake-up call that forced them to re-think their lifestyle and change their values and priorities.
 
Louise Hay in her book, You Can Heal Your Life, says: “Sometimes what seems to be a big tragedy turns out to become the greatest good in our lives. I learned so much from the experience of cancer and I came to value life in a new way. I began to look at what was really important to me, and I made a decision to change some things in my life.”
 
After experiencing illness, pain or trauma, we learn to become compassionate and have empathy for those who may be experiencing their own trauma.
 
Having experienced pain, we can better appreciate and be:

• Thankful for a healthy mind and body that allows us to enjoy our life.
• Thankful for the challenges that helped shape and mold us into who we are becoming.
• Grateful to be blessed with family and friends who love and care about us.

 
Thanksgiving is a time for us to “count our blessings.” To remember all the things for which we are grateful.
 
From her book, A Return To Love, Marianne Williamson says:
“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It’s our light, not our darkness that most frightens us.
We ask ourselves: ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’
Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that other people won’t feel insecure around you.
We’re all meant to shine, as children do. We were born to manifest the good that is within us. It’s not just in some of us; it’s in everyone.
And as we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give others permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

An attitude of gratitude is a sure way to achieve good health, happiness and well-being. So, “THANK ME” (YOU), is a great way to begin the rest of our lives!

​Halloween’s origin dates back to the ancient Celtic festival of Samhain (pronounced sow-in). The Celts, who lived 2,000 years ago in the area that is now Ireland, the United Kingdom and northern France, celebrated their new year on November 1.
The Celts believed that on the night before their new year, (October 31), the boundary between the worlds of the living and the dead became blurred and ghosts came back to the earthly world.
People believed that if they left their homes after dark, they would encounter ghosts. To avoid being recognized by these ghosts, they would wear masks so the ghosts would mistake them for fellow spirits.

​The mask is a metaphor for that carefully crafted and false version of ourselves that we present to the public, in order to hide our true personality, thoughts and feelings.

The first line of Paul Lawrence Dunbar's poem, "We Wear the Mask” says it well: “We wear the mask that grins and lies, it hides our cheeks and shades our eyes”. This says that people must “mask” how they really feel.
 
In the poem, we interpret the ways in which people wear a mask to hide their true thoughts and emotions:

• He wears the mask because he does not want to “let them see” what an excruciating state he is in.
• She wears the mask because she does not want to trouble the world with her personal struggles and frustrations. 
• We wear the mask to protect our vulnerable inner true selves.
•  Wearing the mask hides our “torn and bleeding hearts” to pretend nothing is wrong; and act like we are fine and content with society.
• The mask facilitates our need to fit in, and project social conformance.
• The mask is a useful form of coping that helps us handle the difficulties of social life.

Dunbar's poem is especially relevant today as new ways to "wear the mask" keep appearing. We wear the mask In carefully framed selfies, or in funny Facebook posts, or in well-executed snaps and tweets. In other words, we show the world a certain version of ourselves that is not who we really are.

CEOs and other leaders during the 2013 Wharton Leadership Conference stated that being true to oneself is the key to business success, overall health and well-being.
 
They concluded that the stress of being in an environment which does not embrace being genuine or aligned with one’s values can lead to poor performance and health problems associated with stress.
 
There is wonderful symbolism in the following story taken from the book, “Crack Your Egg” by Henk Schram:

Well, like the Buddha's clay casing, most of us unconsciously build an "outer shell" that's meant to protect us from the world. It usually occurs because of something disconcerting that happened, or something unpleasant was said.... typically, at an early age, but it could be at any point in our lives. 

As we build our protective shell, we eventually begin to believe that we are the "stone Buddha," and forget about the ‘pure gold’ that remains inside.  

Then something might happen in our lives... an uncomfortable experience that cracks our protective casing. It could be an injury... a divorce... a financial setback... the death of a loved one...losing a job... having our house foreclosed on... anything that shakes us to our core…the ‘wake-up call’!

The protective 'shell' couldn't keep the experience at bay, so we undergo the kind of discomfort it was designed to protect us from. And because of the emotional turmoil that comes with it, we often miss the point of the experience.

Because in that moment, when a piece of our armor is knocked off, we're presented with an opportunity. 
 
We can look inside and see ‘our long-forgotten gold’ – the treasure that was always hidden within.

We're actually being called to chip away our clay casing, uncover the inner gold that has been concealed, and finally reveal our innate riches that have always been there, waiting for us! 

It's in these moments of opportunity we have the chance to break out of our shell and shine bright again! To chip away our clay and reveal that inner gold.
 
Our 'gold' is so much more beautiful, so much more satisfying, and so much more fun!”

When we protect ourselves from the outside world, what is happening inside??
 
In ‘Themindsjournal.com’, it says: “You know, the part where you’re no longer a caterpillar and not yet a butterfly. You don’t know who you are, and you don’t know where you’re going. All you know is that every fiber of your being is calling for transformation. For a disruption, a revolution of the spirit. So, surrender. Breakdown. This is not the death of you. This is the dying of who you once were. This is your rebirth. And these are called growing pains.”
 
“Authenticity is about enjoying a new sense of freedom to be who we really are -- ourselves, natural and without a mask in our relationships, our work, and our life.”
Mike Robbins, motivational keynote speaker, coach, and a bestselling author.
 
The flip side of that coin is the impact inauthenticity can have on one’s health. The stress of being in an environment which does not embrace being genuine, or aligning with one’s values, can, not surprisingly, lead to a laundry list of health problems associated with stress.
​
Like the Celts, 2000 years ago, it’s okay to wear a mask on Halloween, …to deter the evil spirits.
But, for the 364 other days, TAKE OFF YOUR MASK!
Life is too short to not live free from the stress of wearing a mask.
 
 

References:
http://changingminds.org/explanations/identity/masks.htm
https://www.history.com/topics/halloween/history-of-halloween
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/we-wear-the-mask
http://crackyoureggreview.net/henk-schram